my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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