I wish I only lived at night.
farters have to be the big spoon...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
