it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
