don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
