I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
