Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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