no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
