I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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