I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
