Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
