i just wanna soil my oats bro
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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