I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
