so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
