i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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