No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
