I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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