yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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