I must be too annoying 4 u.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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