Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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