You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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