remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
