if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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