I wanna passion pit in your ass
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
