i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
