so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
