Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
