Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
