"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
