I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
