I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
