HIV tests are more positive than that guy
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
