maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
