Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
