he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
