:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
