So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
