you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
