well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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