We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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