He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
