If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
