So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
