I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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