The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Randomize
