i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
