So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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