just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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