Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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