You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
