Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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